I’m back from a vacation split between the Berkshires in Western, MA and NYC. They are two very different places that I have come to appreciate. In the Berkshires, I was surrounded by mountains (climbed Mount Greylock while I was there). In NYC, I was surrounded by a sea of people as I traveled on the “D” train to visit my alma mater, Lafayette High School in Brooklyn, New York. I have noticed something very interesting, at least to me, on the last few trips that I’ve taken from Massachusetts to New York City so I thought I would share the experience.
The last few times my wife and I have traveled from Massachusetts to NYC we have stopped at the first major rest area in Connecticut. Without failure we have run into someone who did not have enough money to pay for gas and just needed a couple of bucks so they could get to their final destination. I’ve given to their cause a few times, but then I started to think, “Why does this seem to always happen at the same location?” It started to feel like one of the social psychology experiments I ran in college to test the helping behavior of strangers.
I do have a soft spot for helping when possible but after the experience I had in NYC a couple of weeks back, I began to wonder if the “S” on my chest stood for “Supportive” or “Sucker.“ Read the story below and decide for yourself.
“I was on my way to the train station at Sterling street to jump on the 2 train. As I got close to the train station a gentleman approached me and said, ‘I don’t want to ask you for anything but I am sick and my daughter needs milk. Would you be willing to buy milk for her?’ I thought I would do my good deed for the day and purchase the milk for the gentleman. What could it cost me, $4 at the most, right? Wrong! What happened next was like a scene out of a movie. We walk into the store and I’m expecting the guy to go and get the milk or ask the store owner to retrieve it. Instead, he just nods and the store owner knows exactly what to do. He has one of his associates go on a latter to get the milk which is on the top shelf. When I asked how much the infant milk cost he said, $16. I froze with sticker shock. I made the commitment so I decided to follow through—in the back of my mind, I was thinking ‘I won’t let this happen to me again. The ‘S’ on my chest was definitely for Sucker at that moment. If that wasn’t enough, as I was waiting for my debit card to be processed the guy I was helping out had the nerve to say, ‘man if you weren’t in such a rush, I would let you take me around to get something to eat.’ I could not help but laugh as I left the store and jumped on the 2 train heading for Manhattan.”
What’s the lesson in the story above...There are a lot of people who can use our assistance. We have to decide how and where we want to use our skills and resources (time, money, and network) to help others. I have developed a plan that may be of assistance as you consider how and where you want to give back. I call my plan, “Give way back”—I just came up with the name, but have always had the concept. What I have discovered in my journey is that the places that can use our help the most are the ones that have the least resources to ask for that help. I listed the places that have had an impact on my life and decided to, “Give way back” by starting a giving plan that works chronologically with my life. Below is my work in progress.
Mike Bruny’s Giving Vision:
My church-->P.S. 189-->Pop Warner Football (Brooklyn Skyhawks to be Specific)-->Lafayette H.S. (now High School of Sport Management)-->Hartwick College(undergrad)-->Umass (grad school: Sport Management Department)-->The Partnership, inc. (leadership program in Boston)
The last few times my wife and I have traveled from Massachusetts to NYC we have stopped at the first major rest area in Connecticut. Without failure we have run into someone who did not have enough money to pay for gas and just needed a couple of bucks so they could get to their final destination. I’ve given to their cause a few times, but then I started to think, “Why does this seem to always happen at the same location?” It started to feel like one of the social psychology experiments I ran in college to test the helping behavior of strangers.
I do have a soft spot for helping when possible but after the experience I had in NYC a couple of weeks back, I began to wonder if the “S” on my chest stood for “Supportive” or “Sucker.“ Read the story below and decide for yourself.
“I was on my way to the train station at Sterling street to jump on the 2 train. As I got close to the train station a gentleman approached me and said, ‘I don’t want to ask you for anything but I am sick and my daughter needs milk. Would you be willing to buy milk for her?’ I thought I would do my good deed for the day and purchase the milk for the gentleman. What could it cost me, $4 at the most, right? Wrong! What happened next was like a scene out of a movie. We walk into the store and I’m expecting the guy to go and get the milk or ask the store owner to retrieve it. Instead, he just nods and the store owner knows exactly what to do. He has one of his associates go on a latter to get the milk which is on the top shelf. When I asked how much the infant milk cost he said, $16. I froze with sticker shock. I made the commitment so I decided to follow through—in the back of my mind, I was thinking ‘I won’t let this happen to me again. The ‘S’ on my chest was definitely for Sucker at that moment. If that wasn’t enough, as I was waiting for my debit card to be processed the guy I was helping out had the nerve to say, ‘man if you weren’t in such a rush, I would let you take me around to get something to eat.’ I could not help but laugh as I left the store and jumped on the 2 train heading for Manhattan.”
What’s the lesson in the story above...There are a lot of people who can use our assistance. We have to decide how and where we want to use our skills and resources (time, money, and network) to help others. I have developed a plan that may be of assistance as you consider how and where you want to give back. I call my plan, “Give way back”—I just came up with the name, but have always had the concept. What I have discovered in my journey is that the places that can use our help the most are the ones that have the least resources to ask for that help. I listed the places that have had an impact on my life and decided to, “Give way back” by starting a giving plan that works chronologically with my life. Below is my work in progress.
Mike Bruny’s Giving Vision:
My church-->P.S. 189-->Pop Warner Football (Brooklyn Skyhawks to be Specific)-->Lafayette H.S. (now High School of Sport Management)-->Hartwick College(undergrad)-->Umass (grad school: Sport Management Department)-->The Partnership, inc. (leadership program in Boston)
Happy Giving and may the “S” on your chest stand for “Supportive” not “Sucker.”
My wife & I at Mt. Greylock in the Berkshires (Stoney Ledge Trail) My family in NYC (L to R): Nephew Johnny, Mom, Wife, Me
My Alma Mater, Lafayette H.S., in Brooklyn, NY
My Alma Mater, Lafayette H.S., in Brooklyn, NY
Your Ambassador,
Mike Bruny, CPCC
Certified Life Coach, Speaker, Author
Run the Point Enterprises
www.runthepoint.com
Gone Digital:
Facebook: www.facebook.com
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mikebruny
Mike Bruny, CPCC
Certified Life Coach, Speaker, Author
Run the Point Enterprises
www.runthepoint.com
Gone Digital:
Facebook: www.facebook.com
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mikebruny
Twitter: www.twitter.com/runthepoint
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Author of: "Move the Crowd: 30 Days of Hip Hop Affirmations To Change Your Life."
Author of: "Move the Crowd: 30 Days of Hip Hop Affirmations To Change Your Life."
This is a new section that I am adding for anyone who wants to unite as a network to offer solutions and share challenges they may be facing. Each week I will post what folks have to offer and what they are looking for. Just send me an email with the subject, Looking for or Offering.
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